Please ignore how bad that selfie is (IDK why I look so terrified), but I found Tiny Tim’s crypt and I am very excited about this! I just recently learned he’s entombed at Lakewood Cemetery in Minneapolis so I visited this morning while I was in town for the weekend. I’m not someone who considers myself much of a fan, but I appreciate anyone who is an unabashed odd-ball, as well as any excuse to visit a cemetery. I really only intended on visiting for the bragging rights, but as someone who is very sensitive to the energies of graves I strongly recommend visiting him; his crypt has a vibrant, positive energy as if he enjoys the company. Regardless, if you like cemeteries I recommend visiting Lakewood Cemetery. It may be the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen, and the mausoleums (which normally even squeam me out a little) are breathtaking. It’s a shame to have been there on a cold winter day when I couldn’t fully enjoy the grounds, but I will be back once the snow melts.
If you want to visit, Lakewood Cemetery is in southwest Minneapolis and Hennepin Ave. leads directly into it. You immediately take a right at the gates and ignore the first building you see, and go to the second mausoleum to your left (NOT the Garden Mausoleum), take the elevator to the lower level, go to the last room on the left, and his crypt is on the left wall, I think two in. It’s MASSIVE and says KHAURY in big brass letters, you can’t miss it. But do check out both mausoleums, they’re both stunning and feature colorful marble like you’ve never seen.
There are clubs people can join to
hang out and make their own coffins.
New Zealand is home to at least a
dozen coffin clubs, where elderly
folks gather to build and decorate
their own caskets. Participants say
that, aside from saving money, the
club also serves as a support group
that brings people together and
helps them face the inevitable. Source
The thing is my restaurant job’s Christmas party is going to be at a nice bar in Minneapolis, which is about a four hour drive from here, and we’re all pretty excited about it.
So my dream was at the party, and I was being tragically uncool. All I wanted was to convince my coworkers that I am cool and should let me go bar hopping with them, but I was too drunk and creepy and they kept turning me down. So I resorted to trying to be funny. But my drunken-nightmare-me thought the sure fire way to being funny and co would be to talk like the character Princess Lucy from an obscure Canadian cartoon called What It’s Like Being Alone. (I’d be shocked if you guys get the reference, and the closest analogue is the voices from Teen Girl Squad.) Of course they weren’t buying it, so I had to break out the big guns; drunk Princess Lucy karaoke. So I got on stage and sang My Heart Will Go On. Then all my friends abandoned me, even my brother, who I work with and splitting hotel and Uber charges with.
Now it’s Christmas Eve, I’m awake, and have the worst rendition of My Heart Will Go On stuck in my head.
This is actually what you should say to an ICE agent who has come to your house looking for an undocumented immigrant.
Specifically, do not open the door; tell them to slide their warrant under the door. Read it carefully and check to see if it’s a JUDICIAL warrant, which will have specific information like the time and location where they’re allowed to search, and a specific description of who or what they’re allowed to search for. ICE practically *never* have this; they’ll have an ADMINISTRATIVE warrant, which is just their orders from their boss telling them to arrest a particular person. It does not give them the right to enter your house.
ICE *can* enter your house if they have probable cause, such as if they see the person they’re looking for through a window or door (which is why you don’t open the door). Other forms of probable cause include kids telling agents that they were born outside of the US. Agents will trick people into chatting with them, especially kids who serve as translators for their parents, asking things like “What part of Mexico are you from?” Staying silent keeps the onus on them to prove in court later that they had evidence someone isn’t here legally.
It’s important to remember that for now, at least, every person ICE wants to deport has to go before a judge, and ICE has to provide evidence that they know this person is undocumented and that they were arrested without violating the 4th amendment (against unreasonable search and seizure). We know that cops lie and that judges usually side with them, but agents would rather go for a sure bet from a targeted raid than risk wasting their time and energy on arrests that could be thrown out. Knowing your rights and being prepared makes you a more difficult target.
“I do not consent to entry without a warrant.”
(This information comes from notes I took at a workshop on being an immigration ally. Learn more at welcomingamerica.org)
ACTUALLY, ICE will wave around anything and call it a warrant and unless you’re a lawyer chances are you won’t be able to tell, so call a lawyer. ICE often comes in civilian vehicles and clothes, will often conceal their badges from you and will even lie about who they are, and they’ve been known to work with police. You shouldn’t open the door. Call your lawyer, a volunteer lawyer group that assists immigrants or a response network* first. Never say anything that might reveal you’re an immigrant at all to any cop, not even if you are arrested for something else. Call your lawyer and let them deal with it.
ICE presentara cualquier cosa y la llamara un warrant, y aunque usted sea un abogado, probablemente no sabra la diferencia, asi que llame a su abogado. ICE muy seguido se presenta en ropa y autos civiles sin marcas, obscuren sus placas y pueden hasta mentir aceca de quienes son, aveces hasta trabajan con policia local para hacer arrestos de immigracion. No habra la puerta. Llame a su abogado, un grupo de abogados voluntarios que asistan a immigrantes o un grupo de respuesta* primero. Nunca diga nada que revele que es usted un immigrante a ningun policia, ni siquiera si usted esta ciendo arrestado por ortra razon. Llame a su abogado y dejen que ellos lideen con ICE.
Here is what a Judicial warrant looks like:
Asi es como se ve un warrant judicial:
This what an immigration warrant looks like:
Asi se ve un warrant de immigracion:
If the warrant looks like this, you don’t have to let them in. Either way, call your lawyer and if you see ICE or suspect you see them, call someone who responds to ICE raids.
Si el warrant se ve como este, usted no tiene que dejarlos entrar. En qualquier caso, llame a su abogado y si ve a ICE o sospecha que los ve llame a alguen que responda a raids de ICE.
*Response networks. Research online if there’s a network of people in your area who respond to ICE raids, you can also ask at local temples or churches if they know of one. These are people whom you call on the phone, they give you brief instructions and send respondents to your location to assist you, serve as witnesses and document what happens so you can use that information to your defense.
*Grupos de respuesta. Busque en linea si hai un grupo de gente en su area que responda a raids de ICE, tambien puede preguntar en tempos o iglecias locales si conocen de uno. Estas son personas que usted llama en el telephono, le dan instuciones breves y llaman socorristas a su locacion a asistirle, servir como testigos y documentar lo que suseda para que usted pueda usar esa informacion en su defensa.
